"Don't hate the playa, hate the game"

I'm sure all of you have heard that saying before.  Not for nothing, but I think it's a crock of shit.  The underlying sentiment behind this phrase is a justification of one's inexplicable failure to take responsibility for their own actions. 

Fact of the matter is...if you're single, you're single by choice.  Saying that you haven't met the "right person" yet is bullshit.  Whether you're too superficial to consider dating someone other than a supermodel or you're too materialistic to date someone who isn't making bank or you're too commitment-phobic to settle down, the only person keeping you from being with someone is yourself.

Don't think that I'm only referring to guys now either.  Girls play the "game" just as much as guys do.  They bitch about guys being players and there not being any "nice guys" but I've seen plenty of "nice guys" get shot down for reasons the girl herself probably doesn't know.  Just recently a friend of mine was dumped by his gf whom he seriously thought was "the one".  This guy has dated/hooked up with plenty of girls in the past and although people may conclude that his track record is due to his own doing, that really isn't the case. 

Girls aren't the only ones that want real relationships these days.  Guys do too, only more and more girls are too preoccupied with playing "the game".  With the number of people we come across on a weekly basis (whether it be online or real life), I find it hard to believe that all the single people out there haven't met "the right one". 

If everyone keeps playing "the game" in search of this PERFECT mate who they think will suddenly turn their world upside down and cause them to forsake their active social lives for companionship, there's going to be a lot of lonely people down the line. 

After all, in this "game" that a lot of people are playing, there are no winners... 

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P.S. What's with all the hype over ipods?  Free or not, I really don't think they're all that great.  There are much better mp3 players out there that are much smaller and don't cost an arm and leg to replace the battery later on.  Assuming people use ipods for their commute to work or working out, I would think that you'd want something as small as possible.  Sony and Rio make mp3 players the size of a lipstick and they use AAA batteries which are easier to replace than an ipod battery.  Do you really need 20-40gigs of music to carry around?

Golddiggers

When you see a hot girl with an ugly guy, what's the first thought that comes to mind?  "Oh, he must be rich and she's just a golddigger with him for the money."  When we see such a physically incompatible couple, we often look at them in disgust.  You think to yourself that the girl is probably a whore or something with no substance and the guy is a socially inept troll with more money than he deserves. 

My question is WHY?

Assuming the girl IS a golddigger, what do you care?  Are you the one being exploited?  I think the real answer is JEALOUSY.  Depending on your gender, jealousy of the guy being with a hot girl or jealousy of the girl being pampered with material wealth without working for it.

As much as I hate seeing an obvious golddigger myself, I have to admit...If I was a girl and attractive...you can bet that I'm going to be a total golddigger.  I'm willing to bet that every guy out there that complains about golddiggers would do exactly the same.  Hell, if you can get free shit for just being pretty, you'd be a fool to turn it away.

The way I see it, we're dealt a certain hand in life and we have to just make the most with what we have.  Some people have good looks, some people have artistic talent, some people have athletic talent, some people are extremely intelligent...well you get my point.  Being attractive is just another quality that some people have to use towards making it in life. 

As for "hating" on the mismatched couple we sometimes see...think about this:  Maybe the guy KNOWS the girl is a golddigger but he doesn't care.  After all, he has what most guys dont - a hot girl.  If he's lacking in the looks and height department, then why shouldn't he use his material wealth to make up for it?  If the mismatched couple is aware of the nature of their relationship and they're both happy with it, then who's to say otherwise?  Ultimately, it's none of our business what the nature of someone else's relationship is.

So to all the short ugly rich guys out there I say this:  Go out and find your trophy girl and be happy with her. 

To all the attractive girls out there: if you got it, flaunt it.  Go out and find your sugardaddy. 

My point is...fuck what other people think.  It's your life, do what you will to make yourself happy.  To each his/her own.

Scotty Nguyen - 1998 World Series of Poker Champion

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EDIT: Just out of curiosity, what would you do if you could be the opposite gender for a day?  I think I'd spend some time "getting to know myself" for a bit and then go out and try to get guys to buy me shit all day. haha   I think girls would marvel at the wonder of waking up with a morning hard-on.  They should also go out and see how hard it is for guys to pick up girls.

Checks and Balances

I'm sure there's been an instance when we've looked at someone else and thought "wow, I wish my life could be like that".  It could be a celebrity or even someone you know but that slight feeling of envy is the same.  The person may be taller than you, better looking than you, richer than you, or smarter than you and you wish you could share the same qualities.  As perfect as someone else's life may seem though, life has this interesting way of keeping things in balance. 

When we look at someone else with envy, we often perceive only the good things and fail to see the bad.  Why do you think there is such a huge fanbase for celebrities?  It's because many of us want to have the lives that they do.  Interestingly enough, there is an equal attraction for the dirt and controversy that often surround celebrities.  Just look at all the tabloid papers and shows that exist.  Why?  It's because we feel better to know that their lives aren't as perfect as initially perceived.

Real life is no different.  For every good thing we see in someone else's life, there is an equally bad thing we don't see.  Someone may be financially well off, but their family life is in turmoil.  Someone may seem socially popular and desirable to the opposite sex, but they may lack the interpersonal skills necessary for a healthy relationship.

We often measure own success and accomplishments by comparing ourselves to those around us.  This can be a good thing if it helps motivate you to improve your own life but it can also be a bad thing if it causes you to set unrealistic goals and ambitions for yourself.  I can admit there have been times when I've looked at my own friends with envy but I later realize that doing so does nothing for me but make me feel malcontent with my own life.  I should set my own goals and wants in life and do what I have to in order to pursure them.

A friend of mine said to me the other day that as many girls as Friend X has hooked up with, he's glad that he's not in his shoes.  When asked why, he replied, "because Friend X is a dumbass".  He said he would rather be smart and ambitious than popular with the girls.  I wonder how many guys would agree?  After all, guys aren't going out every weekend to parties to find intellectual conversation.  But then again, neither are girls.

Just from looking at people I know, I don't think anyone's life is perfect, including mine.  For every good quality someone may have, there seems to be a bad.  Life's version of "checks and balances". 

Perhaps if we all started focusing more on ourselves rather than others, there would be no need to be jealous or to bad mouth others simply to satiate our own insecurities.  As usual, it's always easier to give advice than to take it and in this regard it's something I'm working on...

The Effect of Having Siblings?

Do you think that growing up with or without a sibling has an effect on your personality later on?

The following are just some observations I've made regarding siblings from Korean families:

- If the siblings are male, the relationship tends to be quite distant.  You don't really have heart to heart talks or discuss any personal issues.

- If the older sibling is male and the younger sibling is female, the same as above applies.

- If the siblings are female, the relationship tends to be pretty close.  You share a certain connection to each other and feel open about discussing personal issues.

- If the older sibling is female and the younger sibling is male, the relationship tends to be close too.  Perhaps it's the whole nurturing aspect that causes it.  Females have an inherent motherly quality while males have an inherent need to be taken care of.

I've heard that if you're an older sibling, you learn sacrifice and "yang bohae" ing (korean word for conceding?) to the younger sibling.  If you have no siblings, you tend to be more self-centered since you've never had to sacrifice for someone else and you've always been the center of attention. 

Supposedly, if you're a guy and you have an older female sibling, your personal relationships with females will be better because you've been exposed to that female psyche already.  If you don't have a close relationship with your sibling, it might indicate potential problems in future personal relationships (I've seen it have both effects). 

1) Do you have any siblings? If so, what is the age/gender situation like?

2) Are you close to your sibling?

3) Do you see any qualities in your personality that reflect that relationship or lack thereof?

GRAYSON (The Death of Batman)

Check out this trailor: http://www.theforce.net/theater/nonsw/grayson/index.shtml

I really hope they make this into a full movie.  It looks absolutely sick!

Regrets?

Generally speaking, I consider everything in life, good or bad, to be a learning experience.  As much as one would like to say that they've lived their life with no regrets, we're only human.  Mistakes are made, opportunities lost. Think of the one biggest regret in your life...Was it something you DID or something you DIDN'T do?  One results from acting in a rash or impulsive manner while the other results from being overly cautious or too passive.

My guess would be that most females would respond by saying their regret is over something they've done. (ie. hooking up with/dating some guy who turned out to be a player/asshole)  Guys on the other hand would probably respond by saying they regret something they didn't do. (ie. not hooking up with/dating some girl they could have) 

So what are some of your regrets?

Here are some of mine:

- Not studying as much as I should have in school.  I always did enough to get by and never pushed myself on a regular basis to excel even though in the few instances I did so, I did really well.  Perhaps if I did better, I would have gone to a better college and a better law school. 

- Not being a better role model to my youngest brother Timmy.  When my dad moved to Korea 9 years ago, I took on the role of "father figure" but being young and immature myself, I don't think I did a very good job.  I can only hope that Timmy comes around on his own now that he's older.

- Wasting my time with relationships in highschool/college.  Unless you live in some hicktown with a population of 500, the likelihood that you're going to end up marrying your high school sweetheart is little to none.  If it hadn't been for having a gf in college, perhaps I could have enjoyed things like going away on spring break or even Mardi Gras.  You only live once and your youth should be filled with more than the emotional stress and pain that comes from heartbreak.

To the people living in midtown Manhattan:

Would anyone be interested in renting out their 2+ bedroom apartment for 2-3 weeks during the U.S. Tennis Open in August?  It would need to accomodate 4 people in their 30s-40s coming here from Finland for the tournament.  The "rental" would be done through a real estate broker I know and they would put down a security deposit to cover any possible damages.  They are offering to pay around $8000 for the 2-3 weeks.

EDIT: The reason why they don't want to stay at a hotel in midtown is because the hotels are expecting a lot of tourists for the U.S. Open have jacked up their rates and are charging over $10,000 for a 2 week stay assuming rooms are even available now.

Friends for Life or Friends for Now?

What is the purpose of having friends?  Is it to have someone to hang out with that shares common interests?  Is it to have someone you can confide in and rely on when you're in need?  Or is it just to have someone fill in the void in your life until something or someone else better comes along?

When you were little you probably had a "best friend" and vowed to each other that you'd be "best friends for life".  As you grew up however, you realized that friends come and go, usually depending on the circumstances.  Advancing from high school to college, college to grad school or the real world, my guess is that most of us have had our "circle of friends" change over time.

While some of us are fortunate to maintain friendships with people we've grown up with, I think most of us have friendships formed in the most recent stage of our life (ie. college friends).  

Now that we're at or getting close to the age of getting married and settling down, even those friendships are brought to the spotlight. 

To those that are in serious relationships or are married: Do you still maintain contact with the friends you had prior to entering the relationship?  If you do, do you see any inverse correlation between the time spent with friends and your significant other?

To those that are single and maintain an active social life:  Do you perceive the friendships you have to be ones you'll continue to have for years to come?  Or are they just a means of biding the time until the right person comes along for you to settle down?

A friend of mine recently changed her AIM screen name and when asked why, she told me she's trying to "trim the fat" so to speak in order to maintain contact with only those she's close to.  With more and more people our age getting married, she doesn't want to be invited to the weddings of people she's not even close to nor does she want to feel obligated later on to invite people to her wedding that she's not close to.  With the rising costs of weddings, I can't really blame her.  It actually makes a lot of sense.  After all, in the end you're going to be spending most of your time with your spouse so why go through the costs and hassles of pretending you're friends with someone when you're really not.

Now that I'm older, Ive noticed my tolerance for bullshit has declined.  It's a lot easier for me to simply dismiss people who have long exceeded their use.  

Unless there's a close and tight bond developed between two friends, the friendship is nothing more than a placemarker until you settle down.  I don't expect people to agree with what I've said here and if you happen to keep your friendships for life, more power to you but I think you're just fooling yourselves.

1) So Lance Armstrong is going for another Tour de France victory...am I the only one that doesn't see any entertainment value whatsoever in a bunch of guys riding bicycles for a long distance?  Even worse, when they air marathons on TV.  I see enough masses of people rushing to and from work everyday during rush hour.  Why the hell would I sit in front of a TV for a few hours to see more of it?  Other "sports" I find less exciting than watching my laundry dry: 

Hockey - a bunch of white guys skating around pushing each other into the walls while trying to score.  The only reason why they actually allow fighting in this sport is because it's not dominated by black guys.  Can you imagine how fun it would be watching black hockey players kicking the asses of the white players?  I bet the occurrences of fights would drop dramatically.

Golf - Eh, what can I say? With homeless people and overcrowding in certain areas, we use up acres and acres of land to walk around and hit a tiny white ball with a club.  As much as I hate this "sport", I know I'm going to have to learn to play for work's sake. Gotta love corporate America huh?

2) So Poker (Texas Hold'Em) seems to be the "in" thing these days.  You can't go a week on Xanga without hearing someone talk about it.  Now I see nothing wrong with people playing poker and I find it entertaining myself...BUT...

WTF is up with people bitching when they lose to someone they perceive as being inferior to them in "poker skills".  Suddenly, everyone's a damn PRO poker player and they make it out to be a travesty of justice if OMG they lose! 

It's a fuckin game people!  Unless you're a famous pro poker player who earns a shit load of money, let me tell you something....YOU SUCK TOO!  Seriously, is it something to go bragging about that you think you're better than someone else in a game that you'll never make a living from?

Stop watching World Series of Poker on ESPN, reading books on how to become a better poker player and focus some of that energy into the more important things in your life and maybe you won't have to bitch about relationships, the opposite sex, or even your job. 

The following is a repost from a past entry of mine...