September 3, 2004
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Dealing with Breakups
How do you deal with breaking up in a relationship?
I know one's reaction to a breakup first depends on whether the person was the dumper or the dumpee, or perhaps it was mutual. I think guys and girls definitely respond differently to breakups and typically go through the following process:
Girls (after being dumped):
- will cry
- look for a shoulder to cry on (be careful of which shoulder you pick-->happy_toki's entry)
- get pissed
(Optional: Go out clubbing/drinking with girlfriends - maybe even go as far as hooking up with a random guy)
- get depressed and cry again
- eat like a fat person at an all you can eat buffet
Girls (after dumping someone):
- feel relieved
- find something to focus their energy on (studying, work, hobby, etc.)
- complain that there are no good guys out there
_______________________________________________
Guys (after being dumped):
- get depressed, maybe even cry
- go out clubbing/drinking with guyfriends - LOOK to hook up with a random girl (pressured by friends)
- get pissed
- go out clubbing/drinking with guyfriends looking to hook up some more
Guys (after dumping girl):
- go out clubbing/drinking with guyfriends - possibly looking to hook up with a random girl
- reconsiders getting back together with ex
- decides not to get back together
- go out clubbing/drinking with guyfriends - looking to hook up with a random girl
- complain that girls don't go for "nice" guys
NOTE: This topic was brought about by request from a reader and does not apply to anything going on in my own life.
Comments (37)
-complain guys don't go for "nice" guys
i think you meant girls.
hahahaha choi is wise = not stupid = not a nice guy?
i sense a freudian slip!!! teeheee..
this has nothing to do with your entry.. but guys are nimrods!!!! hehe.. okay, so yes, when girls do the dumping, they feel entirely relieved and focus on other stuff.. i totally agree. when a girl gets dumped, she is def at her most vulnerable so hooking up with a random guy is completely a realistic possibilitiy. as for guys, i'm not sure if you guys reallllllly consider getting back with the girl if you did the dumping. if the thought does cross your mind, it's probably because of the fear of losing the constant ass.. not because he misses her or all that BS mushy gushy crap.
okay, thats my two cents. happy???
pattyclub, i'm so nice, punk!
I don't know... after dumping someone most people struggle because there's guilt. Also add on the girls list "shopping".
i think it depends on the type of relationship. i've done most of things, minus the hooking up right after. i usually turn to a gf's shoulder to cry on. the not being enough good guys out there...well..i say that even being single.
i KNOW what is going on in your REAL life
http://www.duncanjanelucy.com/public_image/michin_phatboy.jpg
^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
i thought the "thing to do" for girls after breaking up was to get a ridiculously short hair cut.
hahah that's true.
i thought all guys got over girls by having sex with fat chicks. no?
never have i thought about going to a club and hooking up after breaking up with a gyu. usually it's a night out with girls for drinks to celebrate the new found freedom. i've always been the one to say "we need to talk..." first and break things off. but on the times i've been dumped, i cried called my girls for support, did something to relax me. and once, i cut my long hair into a asian uhm jung hwa bob.... biggest mistake of my life. i cried more over my hair than the breakup.
dont forget stalking. guys tend to stalk, no?
It's just your pride messing with you. And when you break up it's your pride messing with her.
i dont know about goin out and hookin up with another guy...
i just umm stare at a wall then paint a picture of him on the wall and stare at it some more...and then i use that wall to throw darts at...
haha
hahaha and you wonder why girls see some guys as man-whores. kidding.
i do all the above besides look for a shoulder to cry on. i hate sympathy and prefer isolation at those moments. probly cuz i dont like ppl to see me during my weak moments
depends...I am older and bring a different view...Lived with a chick for 7 years so more like a divorce (mutual)...ya spend lots of time with the boys doing shit ya couldn't do before...football on sundays, cards during the week, Golf all friggin weekend...pick'in up for sure...drinkin...return to younger days....but my perspective is different.
hi who ever 2 r im brinks and im really really bored.....n e wayz i guess ill c u l8er......
PEACE E-Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Brinks~
i need my gf's whenever i go through a breakup, regardless of who broke up with who. gf's are the best for emotional support sometimes.
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!lol
danica
~pease
Dumper or dumpee, I think someone always hurts. It's a part of the growing process and usually happens more than once and sometimes, many times over. It all depends on how long it takes the dumpers and dumpees to smarten up.
Sometimes it hurts to be the dumper too. Esp if you did care about the other person and just didn't see a future. But it's true that when girls break up with the guy, it's a pretty well thought out decision. she WILL feel relieved. ...and i am focusing on other stuff like career and life etc.
I've only experienced being the dumper so I can't really say..but I think I would rather be dumpee than the dumper because it hurts to let someone go. I guess I have a personality where I can put my sorrows hidden, yet when I see someone else sad it makes me feel really bad..even guilty if I caused it. But as you posted..I did feel relieved and my focus was renewed again. I sometimes complained about guys too, but that was all just in a joking manner. hehe..But I also became very emotional behind closed doors too...cried like a baby for months. haha.. Anyways, that was my answer.. hmm...interesting topics you always have here...
nice ..
can i b0rrow it ? hehehe
haha your entry is so true.
how insightful...
xoxoxo,
Darling Niki
♠♥♦♣
this one is nice huh! i can relate...LOL =)
very very true....
my younger sister's son.
But...if u want me to post ur referral link on my site...i can possibly do that but only after I have gotten my comp or tv. I can't put ur link and my link at the same time...that would be conflicting of interest.
-Linda
O icic...hehe, um I have I need 3 more to get a comp and I need 4 more to get a tv
-Linda
hahahaha nice disclaimer at the end =)
one of my ex's cheated on me and i just totally cut off all communication w/ him. i was so pist i had no time to be sad about that. but the first and only time i actually got dumped, i was so bummed out i just drove around for hours listening to all my sappy love songs and just bawling my eyes out..haha.
yay! thanks
leave me ur link...so, i can put urs up when I get all mine -Linda
might stop posting.
there are no good guys out there =/ it's been two years since i've had a relationship.
heard u know lots about cars.....can you give me some advice?? thanks