September 22, 2004

  • When nature calls (or rather YELLS!)


    Have you guys ever been in a situation where you had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad but couldn't because of the circumstance/situation you were in?  Well, it happened to me this morning.


    So I'm on the subway making my way downtown towards work when this sudden urge to take a shit hit me.  At first I thought it was morning gas or something and that the feeling would pass, but boy was I wrong.  As each minute passed (which seemed like an hour btw), the rumble in my stomach got worse and I felt the pressure building.  OMG, I'm not going to make it!


    Being that it was morning rush hour, the subway was packed with people and I was standing against the door, clutching onto the pole for support.  I broke out in a cold sweat and could see goosebumps form on my arms.  I could feel the little beads of sweat forming at the top of my ass crack as I clenched for dear life. 


    When I finally got to my stop, I did what I would describe as the "pole up my ass shuffle" towards the exit stairs.  By the time I finally got up to my office on the 21st floor I thought I was going to pass out.  Straight to the bathroom I went to drop the kids finally off at the pool.  Ahhhhh....RELIEF!


    P.S.  From talking to other guys, it seems like inopportune bathroom moments is not an uncommon thing but does shit (no pun intended) like that happen to girls? 


    ________________________________________________


    EDIT:  Does anyone out there work for an auto insurance company and can hook me up?

Comments (53)

  • hahaha, i thought maybe i was reading your brothers page for a second. hahahha. yes it does happen to girls.

  • thanks for the shitty morning~ 

  • hahahahaha at least when you got there you had toilet paper.. someone i know was in the same situation except when that person sat down to do that long awaited deed, they realized they sat down and ther was no tp. like one square left.

    one square gosh darn it!!! lol

  • for some reason i think i've heard this entry before.....

  • Choi: Cause it happens to me on more occasions than I'd like.

  • happens to me too, sometimes i get turtle peep, have to do the butt clench to put the sucker back in.

  • Hmm... after reading this entry, I'm now wondering if it was YOU that clogged-up my toilet and shat on my bathroom floor. And to think, all this time I've been blaming Inku ~(((o_O)))~ HAHAHAHA.. =) B

  • explosive dookie.  did you clean up after yourself?

  • Yes, of course! haha.. I was driving home one day, and I had to use the bathroom.  I still had two more hours of driving and I was stuck in the boonies. There was no place to stop for a br break. I thought my stomach was going to burst or I was going to faint. Finally, there was a gas station, but it was already closed. What gas station closes at 8p.m.?? argh! Then went to another place..only to find out the br was broken. I drove about 15 more minutes..until I saw heaven: McDonalds = restrooms!!!

  • hahaha ... it happened to me when i was out for a friend's bday party ... we had gone to a viet restaurant ... i almost didn't make it to the toilet!

  • lol, you almost "sharted" (along came polly)

    Hey Dave, thanks for dropping the line. You pretty much read about the situation I'm in. Basically, the driver wasn't the owner of the vehicle. Mercury Insurance is trying to get a hold of the owner to collect money from _their_ insurance company. From what I'm deducing, unless Mercury can get a hold of the owner + the owner of the Jeep has collision coverage, I won't be getting any money. The Mercury adjuster told me that all I can do for now is wait.

    Filing a police report seems like the next thing to do. (whether or not I'll report it as a hit and run as you mentioned, I'm not sure if I'd do that). So lets go with the worst case scenario... they can't come in contact with the owner OR the owner is not insured. What would be the next best step for me? My friend tells me to take it to small claims... although it's not worth hiring a lawyer(?)

    I got estimates done the day of the accident... AND I Xanga'd about it the same day (+got comments) if that's of any help. Sorry about the long comment haha

  • puahah.... so funny...

  • hilarious, great execution of story. neways, for the longest time everytime i would go to the store to buy a card [bday, mothers day, xmas, w/e] i'd have to go. it's very inopportune!

  • Yes...it happens to the most of us...not on a daily basis, but shit does happen.  Glad to hear that you made it though.

  • wow. lovely.

    im sure that shit happens to girls but i dnuno. girls dont shit as much as guys do. guys shit at least once a day sometimes twice a day. some girls i kno shit every other day or even every 3 days so we dont get those crazy OMG I GOTTA SHIT NOW days. at least none of the girls that i kno. unless we eat chipotle or something. haha.

  • unfortunately i think everyone has one of those stories...  embarrassing at the time but they make really funny stories

  • was it something you ate?  that's what usually causes uncontrollable shits...cuz usually those are hold-able.

  • Thanks, awesome response. That cleared up a lot.

    I don't know what the relationship is between the driver and the owner of the vehicle.  Boyfriend? Family? Friend?  Apparently, the driver denied that they were involved in the accident (they have no knowledge of the claim I reported).

    Now, they are investigating "how" I got her information if she never rear-ended me thus never met me.  The last I heard from the adjuster, the owner of the vehicle wasn't answering their phone.  I know that this is all SO obvious that she hit me (I have her drivers license#, DOB, home address, telephone#, Insurance policy #, depressed rear bumper with Jeep front bumper indentation, brother/passenger/witness although family doesn't count as witness), but I'm still a bit worried that she might slip through some loophole...you know how the law works. 

    I made some big mistakes at the time of the accident:  I didn't file a police report, didn't get her license plate #, and the model/year of her car (though I'm pretty sure it was a Cherokee b/c Jeeps don't have too many models).

    Given these situations...and lets say you were the driver of the vehicle that hit me... what would you be doing to avoid liability... and what could I do to counter?

  • agaaha your story is hilarious. yes it does happen to girls. why not?! we all poo. but my story was at magic mt and i had to hold it for 45 mins. i had the cold sweat, goose bumps, AND my knees felt like they were gonna go out on me. not a kool feeling.

  • i kno an insurance dude who hooks me up.  i didnt get my license til i was almost 18 but it says i've been driving for like 10 yrs, lol.  amongst other things

  • My mom owns an insurance agency.  :P   email me.

  • i start whimpering, yodel some and do the dance.... i feel your pain dude.

  • you must shut up, bitch.

  • did you just fess up that you were a freak in the bedroom? hahaha

  • hmm, i wonder where the sudden urge came from. it's usually gradual for me~!

  • aey wsup?...nice page...DAMN u got lotZZzzzz of propZzzzzzz....newayzZZ pCe out

  • yah, i think a really embarrassing one is if you're on a date.

  • your entry makes me giggle.

  • hahhaha that sucks

    and i dont think you'd want to know if it happened to girls since most guys can't believe that girls even poop

  • Yeah, it happens to girls. Traumatic personal experience.

  • it happens to girls too!

  • post this story on http://www.poopreport.com i think thats the website

  • >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > the instructions to the "t" you'll be
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > surprised!!!! All
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > of my answers were accurate. We'll see tomorrow
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > if the wish comes true. I'll let you know.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > you out! The person who
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > sent it to me said his wish came true
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 10 minutes after they read the mail.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > outcome.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > takes about three minutes...it's worth a try
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > First..get a pen and paper. When you
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > actually choose names, make sure it's
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > people you actually know and go with
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > your first instinct.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > Scroll down one line at a time...and don't
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > read ahead or you'll ruin
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > it!
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > a column.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > any two numbers you
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > want.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > of members of the opposite sex.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > family....) in the 4th, 5th,
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > and 6th spots.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9, 10,
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > and 11.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 6. Finally, make a wish.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > And now the key for the game.....
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 1. You must tell (the number in space 2)
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > people about this game.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > love.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > work out.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 4. You care most about the person you put in
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 4.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 5. The person you name in number 5 is the
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > one who knows you very
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > well.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > star.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > with the person in number 3.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > in 7.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 9. The tenth space is the song that tells
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > you most about YOUR mind.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > 10. and 11 is the song telling you how you
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > feel about life
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > NOW...send this to 10 people within the hour
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > you read this...IF you do..your wish will come
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > true.
    >>>> > >
    >>>> > > If you don't it will become the opposite. >> >

  • i can get u good deals on insurance...

    I work with cars

  • i dont' have anymore memory slots and it doesn't accept 512 components =(

  • you're such a hater, bitch.....

  • random propz ^___^

  • ah ha!  this was what gomi was talking about.    your post is so detailed that i can almost picture you going through this pain.  what did you for dinner last nite? 

    show me how you do "pole up my ass shuffle"!

  •  
    OH yeh i need to brake mai propz cuz i bet wit mah fren i can beat his record so holla plz =]
     
    <3 h3id1

  • haha...funny story and great site.  glad u made it out alive (albeit barely, it seems).

  • ok...fyi, I just got my last referal for my comp..so, my comp is coming...and I still need two more for my tv..as soon as i get those I'll put ur link up.

    Just wanted to let u know that I havent' forgotten our deal.

    -Linda

  • yes. i thought u knew...well, surprise. :p

  • i did ur tv thingy.  signed up for that efax thing but i dont kno why my thing says i still have to complete an offer???  anyways do mine!

  • i havent cancelled yet cuz it says it doesnt charge my cc until 30 days later.  just wait it out i guess.  now sign up for mine!

  • yeah, i am not very strong. =(

    i bet you could beat me in arm wrestling. haha

  • honestly i am completely useless physically.

    the only thing i have is my brain. =/

  • i left u a little nasty comment on lichunsah's page. don't take it offensively, it's the pharmacy student side of me talking. hahhahahaaa!

  • ew dave. nasty!

  • sorry hunny for the late reply. i went shopping! no wonder i'm dumb, i spend too much time shopping rather than hitting my pharmacy books. jk. i left a reply on li's page.

    well, on another note to ur shitty story... hahahaha... shitty get it!!! yes, i am very f'ing corny. here's one of my worst shit stories when i was in vietnam this past month...
    I was shopping for gifts at the stone marble city when I HAD TO GO! there was this dark dark restroom which looked like there was already shit in the bowl (it was very dark) but I HAD TO GO! so i pulled up my skirt careful not to touch anything, squat at the very edge of the bowl of what white part i COULD see so that my diarrhea wouldn't splat on me or in the you kno what's already in there!!! luckily i've already learned my lesson to always bring my own tissue paper. WAIT! then, i couldn't find the FLUSH!! So I left what was already stinky even STINKIER! It was like 107 degrees and the only thing I had was a 25 cent toy fan!!! WORST, i walk out and there was my sister's friend waiting for me the whole time!!!!

  • i like how u call em ur kids!!! i call them the cosby kids!!! :O

  • ahh painful!  you know what also sucks?  when you wait too long to pee and you get that stomachache afterward.  eeek.

  • Hah, that happens all too often for me. Great post mate, been reading your site for a long long time through various different usernames. Keep up the great work! Maybe some time you can give me a comment or two back, your input would mean a lot to me.

  • well lucky you phatboy....ur girl must be very happy......

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