How to be a ninja!

With Halloween coming up this weekend, it seems like everyone is posting up their ideas or choices of costumes.  Why anyone would want to pay money to dress up beats the heck outta me but here's a simple and FREE costume for you to don this Halloween. 

Some of you may have seen this before online but I've decided to demonstrate the steps myself to show how easy it is.  For an added effect, get a bunch of people to dress up as ninjas too and you can be your own deadly clan of assassins!

Note:  You can use different colored t-shirts to be different colored ninjas too.

Dating 101: How to get a guy (a guy's perspective)

I find it funny how so many females seek advice about guys from other females (ie. women's magazines).  It's like the blind leading the blind.  Wouldn't it make sense to find out about guys from a guy?  Well, here's my perspective on how to get a guy:

First of all, appearance means everything as far as impressions go.  If it looks like a ho, dresses like a ho, and acts like a ho, well...you know the rest.  When a guy goes out to a bar or club and sees a girl dressed all hoochie, that's the way he's going to perceive her.  It doesn't matter if the girl really is a ho or not because perception is the key here.

Girls:  You may have your own reasons for dressing provocatively but whether you want to admit it or not, one of the main reasons you go out scantily clad is for attention.  Girls are much more concerned about their outer appearance than guys, which explains why they take so much longer to get ready when going out.  Being insecure by nature, they seek attention for reassurance.  Who they get the attention from may not be what they were hoping (see ugly guys), but it's attention nonetheless.

What girls don't realize is that even if they manage to catch the attention of a desirable guy (ie. good looking), the impression they give off may not be a good one.  Sure you may get guys coming up to you to buy you a drink or to make conversation, but what do you think their motive is?  It's certainly not to find out what your views on politics are.

Guys are more observant than you realize girls.  All those times you go out to a party, get drunk and do something stupid, some guy has noticed.  You may try and portray yourself as a wholesome, gf material type girl but guys know better.  Don't say that you've only been with 1 guy when it's actually much more than that.  Guys will find out if you're lying and it only makes you look more of a slut.  Most people follow the "don't ask, don't tell" policy these days which is fine, but don't go out of your way to misrepresent yourself. 

Just from my observations and knowledge, there seems to be a huge discrepancy between the number of partners a guy's had and the number a girl's had.  Let's say for example the average guy claims to have been with 7 girls and the average girl claims to have been with 2 guys.  That's a 5 partner discrepancy but let me tell you that the guys aren't the ones lying.  Especially at our age, guys have no incentive to lie about how many partners they've had.  Girls on the other hand have plenty of incentive to lie.  They want to live promiscuously yet somehow want people to think they're angels.  Who do you think you're kidding?

If you're looking for a mere hookup, then by all means go out and hooch yourself out.  I'm sure you can easily pick up a guy to serve that purpose and you can stop reading here.  But if you're looking to land a guy for the purposes of having a relationship, I suggest you re-evaluate the image you're giving off.

Now that we got that out of the way, let me give you some pointers in how to get a guy:

Just like how girls like confident guys, guys like confident girls too.  This means, do away with the insecurities and emotional baggage you're carrying from any past relationships.  I've noticed that girls seem to always compare any prospective bf with all her past bfs.  This isn't fair to the new guy and frankly, it's a turn off.  The new guy isn't the one that played you.  The new guy isn't the one that cheated on you.  The new guy isn't the one that verbally, emotionally and/or physically abused you.  If you're going to let past hangups affect your approach with a new guy, then you're simply not ready to start dating again.

If a guy really likes the girl, he may be ok with SOME insecurities and do his best to reassure her, but if those insecurities turn into irrational behavior and jealous outrages, it's going to get tiring real quick for the guy.

A question I've had asked frequently from girls is, "how do I know if the guy is really interested in me or if he's just looking for play?"

The answer to this is threefold:

1) Communication.  For any relationship to work, there needs to be a good line of communication.  Discuss your wants and expectations and see if you're on the same page with the guy.  (Of course this isn't foolproof as the guy can simply lie to you about wanting the same things you do which is why we have #2 and #3)

2) Abstinence.  If you really want to test a guy's sincerity, hold off any physical intimacy with him.  If a guy is only looking to get into your pants, he'll lose interest eventually if you keep things platonic.  There's no exact timeframe how long you should hold out for as each guy and situation is different.  Girls succumb way too easily sometimes and it's no surprise they're left with a feeling of confusion and uncertainty as to the guy's true feelings.

(Note: If you are abstaining, make sure the guy isn't getting action from someone else because it makes "abstaining" with you much easier and pretty much pointless.)

3) Gut Instinct.  Last but not least, go with your gut instinct.  Despite your attractions for a guy, if everything inside you is telling you that he's bad news and to stay away, chances are you should.  Girls seem to have this notion that no matter how bad a guy is, they think they can change them.  Believe me, if a guy hasn't changed for any other girl, he won't change for you either.  Don't let his showing of "potential goodness" here and there fool you either.  That's how women in domestic abuse cases get trapped in a bad cycle.  

Although the above thoughts are just my own opinions and may not apply to everyone, I hope that some find my insight useful...

Dating 101: How to get girls (Part I)

When it comes to dating, typically it's the guy that has to have some "game" and do the pursuing.  Girls can just sit back and look pretty (or at least try to) and hope that suitors come knocking at their door.  Guys all have their own angle they use when trying to get a girl but they should all have one thing in common.

The key to getting a girl is to remain unpredictable and mysterious.  Note that I said "getting" and not "keeping" which will be discussed later on. 

Want to know why nice guys finish last?  It's because they're predictable.  They tend to divulge their entire life story in one sitting and this gives the girl nothing to look forward to as far as getting to know him.  Nice guys wear their hearts on their sleeves and the girl knows she's in control.  She knows the guy will do pretty much whatever she wants him to.  These are qualities that girls may look for when it comes time to settle down but not when you're just dating and meeting people.  Marriage = stability (which comes from predictability)

Contrast this to the asshole (badboy) whose behavior is unpredictable.  He'll have moments of being nice to the girl and others where he seems like a total dick.  Here, the GUY is in control because he keeps the girl on her toes, constantly guessing what he's all about.  Girls, perhaps either being gluttons for punishment or just plain stupid, will hang around and want to get to know the guy better, despite the lack of substance or depth in the guy.  If you don't have depth, you can at least pretend like you do right?

As we've all grown older, the typical "badboy" has been phased out with age so this angle is no longer applicable.  In it's place is the now common practice "self pity" tactic.  This is where the guy constantly puts himself down to give off the image of humility to girls.  "I'm a loser, I'm ugly, I have a small dick, etc."  Why in the world would a guy put himself down you ask?  Simple...reverse psychology. 

By putting themselves down, they're actually fishing for compliments from the girl and reassurance...boosting their egos in the process.  Fact is, the guy really doesn't think that low of himself.  He's actually pretty confident in himself and his self-deprecating comments are merely a ruse.  Remember what I said before about unpredictability?  If a girl sees a guy who for the most part seems very sociable and confident but then sees him belittling himself, this inconsistency creates confusion for the girl.  "This doesn't make sense", the girl says to herself.  "I must get to the bottom of this" (which leads to the girl being more drawn to the guy and wanting to get to know him better) 

Girls say they like confident guys, but not to the point where they're conceited.  Sometimes there's a fine line between confidence and conceit so how does a guy come off as confident without being conceited? Easy...make fun of yourself.  After all, a conceited guy would never put himself down, would he?  That fine line is looking a lot wider now isn't it?  Practically speaking, it doesn't matter whether you're in fact confident or just conceited, as long as you keep the girl guessing.

If everything I've said above is true, you may be thinking to yourself that I just blew up the spot for a lot of guys.  However, the most important factor when it comes to getting a girl is EXECUTION.  You can have all the strategies, angles, pickup lines you want, but without execution, it means nothing.  It's like if you were taught how to throw a curveball.  You can know the mechanics of a curveball but it doesn't mean you're going to throw a good one.  Even the batter (the girl) can know you're going to throw a curve ball, but it doesn't mean they're going to be able to hit it.

Guys: If you choose to use the "self-pity" tactic, make sure you don't over do it.  Girls can get sick and bored of always having to try and boost your ego and actually be turned off....kinda like how us guys get sick of trying to give reassurance to a girl with insecurity problems.

I'll continue with more later, including my opinion on whether guys and girls can be "friends". I have to get some work done.

Feel free to confirm or dispute the above as you please.

Baseball is rigged I tell ya!  Assuming Houston wins tonight in the NLCS, how fitting that the two teams in the World Series are from Texas and Massachusetts...the hometowns of the two presidential candidates.  What a way to lead right up to the election.  Coincidence or conspiracy theory? You decide. haha

Congrats to Boston for being the better team in the series.  I'm just glad this stupid series is over now so I can go back to my boring, mundane life.  I wasn't able to concentrate on school and haven't been getting any sleep because of these games.

P.S. And for those that don't know this already...the curse isn't broken until Boston actually wins the World Series.  It's NOT when they finally beat the Yankees.  

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http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=8801444

Ok since I've had this stupid link up, I've had like 20 people sign up for the tv but the majority of the signups are incomplete.  Not for nothing, if you're going to sign up at least finish the job.  YOU CAN DO IT!   For those that signed up but haven't completed the offers, I'd appreciate it greatly if you could do so.  Thanks!

Miscellaneous Crap 

Here are some videos for your entertainment to end the work week:

1) Make sure you do a good job of hiding the camera if you're planning on secretly videotaping yourself making out with a girl! Click here (worksafe)

2) Check out this crazy negro! I would have run him over!  Click here (Warning - Language)

3) Move over American Idol, here comes Malaysian Idol! Click here (don't really know what to say to this. haha)

4) More reason why I hate cats... Click here (Look how fuckin fat the cat is! )

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Free offer for the day!  Click one of the following to get your free Bush bobblehead doll! Select from one of the following:

Bobblehead 1             Bobblehead 2              Bobblehead 3 

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

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EDIT: You ever sit there and try to figure out what words you can make up using your phone number?

Example: (900)PHATBOY

Now you don't have to rack your brain or bust out with the pencil and paper while you're staring at the numeric pad on your phone to come up with something cool...Just go here and punch in any numbers you want.

http://www.phonespell.org/

Xanga True Life: I'm an Import Car Slut!

Koreans and luxury import cars typically go hand in hand.  What better way to spruce up your image of materialism than to drive around in a new BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, etc.  Notice I didn't say wealth because driving around in a luxury car doesn't always equal having money.  Just take a look at the majority of Korean guys in LA for proof.  They drive around in nice ass cars and try to give off the image of wealth, when in reality, they're living in some shit hole apartment.  Don't believe me?  Go to any Korean club in LA and you'll see a collection of luxury cars.  Now follow the owner of one of those cars home and chances are, you'll end up either in front of a shack or in front of their parents' house (see spoiled rich kids from previous entry).

Personally, luxury cars don't really do it for me.  Unless you really ARE rich enough to afford it, what purpose does having a nice car really serve?  Does having a nice car help you pick up girls?  If that's the case, what does that say about the quality of the girl?

Fact of the matter is, new cars are the worst investment you can make with your money.  The second you drive away from the dealership, the value of your investment just went down.

One time, I was hanging out with a group of guy friends and the question was asked, "If you had $50,000, what car would you buy?"  Everyone joked that I'd probably buy a Honda Civic.  Ok, maybe they weren't joking but I'd rather buy a Civic and use the rest of the money towards something else.

Over the past 8 years, I've gone through the following cars:

• 1991 Nissan Maxima SE
  
• 1990 Nissan Maxima SE
  
• 1988 Honda CRX Si
  
• 1991 Acura Integra LS
  
• 1993 Honda Civic DX coupe
  
• 1992 Honda Civic Si hatchback
  
• 1994 Honda Civic Si hatchback
  
• 1992 Honda Civic Si hatchback
  
• 1991 Honda CRX Si
  
• 1995 Acura Integra LS
  
• 1991 Nissan Maxima SE
  
• 1993 Honda Prelude VTEC
  
• 1994 Honda Accord EX

Hmm, that's 13 cars in 8 years.  Yes I know, I go through more cars than people go through gfs/bfs.  People may think it's excessive but what if I told you that with every car that I've bought, I've always sold it for more than what I bought it for?  That's including any modifications I've done to them.

Here is my philosophy on cars...

To most people, the cars I've listed are nothing more than cheap economy cars but to me, they're my outlet from life.  Most luxury cars you see can be a dime a dozen depending on where you live, but when you modify a car, it takes on your own personal flair.  The modifications may not be on the exterior or even noticeable to most people but to me, it gives me a sense that the car is mine.

People use various activities to escape from the stresses of life.  To me, nothing beats working on your own car and seeing the results.  Granted, I've had my share of busted knuckles, cuts and scrapes but the satisfaction you get afterwards makes it worth it. 

The great thing about my "hobby" is that I manage to always find cars and the parts to hook them up for pretty cheap.  So when I get bored with the car I'm working on or want to try something different, I always sell the cars for more than I spent on them and I just start with a new canvas.  

This may all seem retarded to you but at least I can say that I don't have car payments to worry about every month while the value of the car is continually decreasing.  

Don't get me wrong...I'd love to own and drive a BMW M5 (M3 works for me too) but reality is, I can't afford one right now so I live within my means.  Besides, in my current situation, the money can be spent more usefully elsewhere.

Here is the car I just sold two weeks ago.  As much as I hated to sell it, I used the money to pay off a debt that my mom owed as well as paying off one of my creditcards in full.

It's cool though because I just picked up the following car to replace it:

1991 Nissan 240SX SE (5spd) 

Not bad for $800 don't you think?  I bought it from a middle aged woman who had recently purchased a new 350Z. The car came with receipts for all the maintenance work done on it too.

I just installed a shortshifter on the car and OMG, the car is a blast to drive.  RWD (rear wheel drive) may suck in the snow but it definitely ups the fun factor in driving.

Yeah yeah, you may think it's an outdated piece of crap...but you know what? It's MY piece of crap and I like it! I don't buy cars to impress people and I'm content with my ride.

Being thankful for what you have 

This past weekend I was over at the house of a friend I hadn't seen in a long time.  She's now married and has a 13 month old son.  Normally she's an elementary school teacher but after the birth of her son, she's stayed home for the past year to take care of him while her husband worked.

They live in a newly built townhouse in Fort Lee, NJ with 3 huge bedrooms, walk-in closet, huge kitchen, outside deck, two car driveway and garage, fireplace, lower den, 4 bathrooms, etc.  The place cost around $560,000 but their parents chipped in and paid 60% of the cost, so they only had to take out a mortgage on the balance which still came out to $1200 a month plus $900 in property tax.

My friend went on to tell me that her younger brother (22 years old) recently moved into the townhouse next door which cost $675,000 and the parents helped pay for his house too.  Not to mention, they also have a sister who recently got married and the parents helped pay for her place as well.

As happy as I was for my friend, I couldn't help but realize how big an effect parents' contribution makes to their children's lives later on.

If my friend's parents didn't chip in for their place, there would be no way they could afford it.

I think a lot of people these days take for granted the support they receive from their parents.  It may not be as excessive as having your parents buy you a home but when your family has money, it definitely makes your life a lot easier.  Just because your parents don't spoil you doesn't mean you don't have it easy.  I guess that's what perpetuates the structure in society and the uneven distribution of wealth.

For example, as you may know I work fulltime and go to lawschool at nights.  Believe me, I don't work because I want to but because I have to.  Now if lawschool wasn't competitive enough already, there are a lot of students in my evening classes who don't work at all and simply take evening classes so they can do better than the students who are working.  These students all come from pretty well off families...this one girl in one of my classes is a big dumbass but her father is the CEO of some big corporation.  That means she pretty much can buy her way through life and through education and she won't have to worry about finding a job later because I'm sure she'll have her hookups.

Hmm...sounds a lot like the life of George Bush doesn't it? 

Anyways, I don't really have much of a point in this entry but that you shouldn't take your situation for granted.  Nothing irks me more than hearing someone bitch about how horrible their life is, while driving around in a nice car, living in a nice house, etc.  I just want to take that silver spoon in your mouth and shove it down your throat!  

Ok, I admit, I'm a very bitter person...

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Oh, and since I'm being bitter anyways, WTF is up with people on the subway/bus letting their damn cellphones ring like crazy before actually picking it up?!  Like I really give a shit that you have some gay ass custom ringtone?  OoOoH! You're so cool! I just wanna shove the stupid phone up your ass!

Speaking of cellphones, why are people so obsessed with how cool their phone is or what features it has? To me, if the phone is compact and I can make clear phonecalls, that's good enough for me.  I don't have a camera built in, or a mini-mp3 player or bluetooth technology (whatever the fuck that is).  I find it hilarious that people easily spend $500+ on a stupid cellphone.  What's funnier is when they end up losing it! haha fuckers!

Ok, I'm going to try and go relax now.../rant for the day.

Thou shalt not covet? 

1) How do you feel when someone else is attracted to your bf/gf? 

Some people might get overprotective and/or jealous, perhaps out of fear of losing their bf/gf to this third party.  Others might feel a sense of pride in that others find their mate as attractive as they do.  Personally, it's the latter for me.  The way I look at it, if someone else finds my girlfriend attractive and I end up losing her to him, then either I wasn't a worthy enough boyfriend and lost to a better man, or the girl wasn't worth keeping anyways.

Relationships are built on trust and you should be able to trust that your bf/gf is going to be faithful to you, regardless of the attention/affections they may receive from another. 

2) Do you find people with bf/gf's more attractive?

I'm sure most guys will agree with me on this when I say "when it rains, it pours".  When a guy is single, it seems like it's harder for him to garner attention from females but when he's taken, it's the opposite.  Now that's not to say that these females are suddenly giving him attention because they want him.  Maybe because he has a gf, he's less of a threat and you can confide in him and get a guy's perspective on a subject.

From what I've heard from girls, they say that guys with gf's tend to be more confident, and it's that quality that might make them more appealing. 

If the above is true, I'm sure there ARE females out there who have no problems pursuing a guy with a gf.  Guys on the other hand, I don't know of a single one that would intentionally go for a girl that had a bf. 

Discuss.

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Caught staring...

I was coming home from a friend's birthday party the other night. A little tipsy, I had ducked out early because I needed to wake up by 7 the next day, and seeing how the subways only ran until 1:30, I didn't want to miss my ride home.

I got into the completely empty subway car and collapsed into one of the seats, still relishing the great time I had at the party that evening. My head kind of hurt, and though I wasn't drunk in all senses of the word, I was hoping I wouldn't have a hangover in the morning because I needed to help my friend move the next day.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but it was of no use. I tossed and turned for a bit in the seat but the sandman just wouldn't visit so I straightened up, opened my eyes......

........and saw the most gorgeous pair of breasts I had ever seen.

All these alarms started going off in my brain. My senses were aflame. I stared in glorious wonder.

They were a thing of beauty, I tell you. Double D's pouring out of a spaghetti string top with just the right amount of freckles peppered over the top of the cleavage. It reminded me of some metaphor I can't think of right now. I nearly creamed my pants right then and there.

Now, like many of you bumbling idiots out there, I didn't realize I was staring so hard and so long until the drool started dripping from my open mouth onto my shirt. I shook out of my mini trance and shot a quick glance at her face, hoping she hadn't seen me lusting over her hooters. Miraculously she hadn't.

Unfortunately, her boyfriend had.

"Hey, what the fuck you looking at?"

Thus is the danger of boobies my friend. You become so transfixed on one solitary point that you completely block off anything that's happening around you; this unfortunately included large Italian men.

I looked at him for the first time. Eeep. He was a fairly large man. He had one of those collar shirts with eight buttons open so he could reveal his thick black chest hair and gold chain. He was once hairy mother fucker. In fact, his facial hair didn't even stop at his Adam's apple. It just connected all the way down to the hair on his chest, like some hairy....path or something. I'm lacking on the metaphors.

"What?" I said as I wiped the remaining drool off my face with the sleeve of my shirt.

"I said what the FUCK you looking at my girlfriend for?"

"I was uh....just...you know...reading her shirt."

I squinted and pretend to read what it said. I was beginning to feel really drunk at this point.

"Ggggeeese? No wait....Guess. Right. Guess. See? I was just reading."

Something tells me he wasn't convinced seeing how he got up, grabbed me by the shirt, and pushed me up against the subway pole.

"Hey, watch it buddy this is a new shirt!" I said. I tried to say it all manly like, but it sounded more like a mouse squealing in terror.

"How about I fuck up your face and your shirt? Would you like that?"

He was "all up in my grill" as the kids say. His breath stunk.

"Well no...oh it was a rhetorical question," I said.

I thought about what to do. This man wanted to punch me in the face. Was I going to back down? No. Because I was a man damnit! I had too much pride for that. It was time to man-up.

So, I did what any self-respecting man would do if faced with a similar situation:

I faked a seizure.

In a matter of seconds, I become a mess of flailing limbs, bucking torsos, and rolling eyes. I felt the guy let go of me and so I continued to seize into my seat, gyrating like my life depended on it.

"Oh my GOD Bruno what did you do to him?!" I heard the girl say.

"Nothing!! I...I was just trying to scare him!"

I seized for a good ten seconds more before I finally stopped, ending my mini production sprawled across the seat. "What a great idea," I thought to myself. "Thanks alcohol."

"Thank God he stopped! Go see if he's okay Bruno," she said angrily.

I waited two seconds and felt Bruno's stinky breath as he leaned over me.

"Dude....you all right?"

Die Bruno.

KA-BLAP.

*Spastic arm to the face*

"OWW MY NOSE!" I heard him scream.

I decided then to wake up, frantically looking around like a small child who lost his mother.

"Wha...wha happened?" I said, pretending I had no idea what happened.

The girl came and sat beside me. I could see the worry in her eyes. It was quite obvious she wanted me.

"You started convulsing or something. We didn't know what to do."

"Really? That's never happened before."

I pointed to Bruno who was holding his nose with some tissue. "What happened to him?"

"You punched him in the face by accident," she said.

"Yes....accident.....anyways, this is my stop! Sorry about the nose!"

I stumbled out of the subway and stood there as the doors closed. I could see Bruno staring at me, holding the tissue to his bleeding nose. The train started moving, and I began run along side, shaking uncontrollably like I was some retard trying to dance and laughing and pointing like a hyena.

Bruno=instant angry face.

So remember gentleman: if you are ever in a situation where the boyfriend of a girl whose luscious hooters you were staring at wants to sew your ass to your face, just do what I did:

1)stop
2)drop
3)and seize

I should also mention that as I walked home from the subway station, I tripped and fell in some mud, ruining my new shirt. What a bitch that karma is.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/41986

Poker In Da Butt 

So I decided to play in the poker tournament this past weekend for the first time.  I figured I played enough on Pokerroom to try my odds against real life people.  Although I was a bit nervous in the beginning, I actually did a lot better than I expected.  I ended up getting eliminated on 2 pretty bad beats to the SAME guy on the damn river card.

Here's the first one:

I'm in the second round with about $1100 in chips and I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  The guy sitting before me goes all in pre-flop with about $475.  I have an A 10 so I decide to call.  He shows his cards and he has pocket 2's.

Why anyone would go all in with pocket 2's beats the heck out of me, but if it means adding to my chip count, I don't care.  So the flop comes out and I pair up my 10's.  Everyone watching the table including myself thinks I have this hand won.  As luck would have it, a damn 2 comes out on the river and I feel like someone just kicked me in the nuts.  

Anyways, I guess that's part of the game.  At least I lasted longer than lowphat121, drufletcher and KPmissy (poker beast).   It was fun while it lasted and I congratulate those who won, including Choiiiii who came in 3rd.  Good job buddy!  This win makes up for all the other times you lost. hehe

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