Meet Toby - Destroyer of Worlds!  Rawr!

Ok maybe he's a pacifist...

P.S. He's a "teacup" yorkie for those wondering and I know my picture taking skills sucks.  I need to get pointers from my brother.

There's nothing like a romantic wedding on a beach...

Maybe she's thinking "I wonder if I can have a piece of cake"

Let's all get together for a group pic now...

It looks like someone brought the "roasted meat and potatoes" for cocktail hour!

After having Thanksgiving dinner last night as my relative's house, I got a major case of food coma and started having second thoughts about going out for Black Friday.  A friend of mine called me though asking if I'd want to go to Best Buy because he and his wife were looking to buy the Emachines Desktop computer set which was advertised as a doorbuster special at $199.  I told him we'd have to go really early because when I went last year at 4am, the line was wrapped around the building already.  As a result, he shows up at my place at midnight because he really wants to get the computer.

We head out to the Best Buy in Secaucus, NJ because my brother said it was closer than the one in Paramus where I went last year.  When we got there at 12:30am, there was already a line around the corner of the building.   We park the car and get in line only to see a SECOND line on the other side of the building.   I walk around asking people why there were two lines and each line insisted they were on the correct line and that the people waiting on the other one were wasting their time.  After a short discussion, my friend and I decide to leave and check out the Best Buy in Paramus because we didn't want to risk waiting on the wrong line in Secaucus.

We get to the Paramus Best Buy shortly before 1am only to find the line wrapped around the building...the end being at the same spot it was at last year when I got there at 4am.

I tell my friend to go park the car while I got a spot on line.  As I was walking around the front however, I spotted these 2 young fobby looking Korean kids.  I walked over and started up a convo in Korean and managed to talk them into letting me cut into the line with them.  Turns out they've been waiting there since 4:30pm the previous afternoon.  The people who were at the very front of the line were there since 11am!  Because the people near the front of the line had been there so long, they knew everyone by face and were quick to oust any potential line cutters.  Me being the slick guy that I am, continued talking to the two kids in Korean and made it seem like I was with them.  When the people around us questioned whether I was legitimately in line because they only remember 2 Asian guys there, I told them the two Korean kids were my cousins and that I've been switching on and off with them.  After some more bullshitting the crowd accepted me in.  Score!

Anyways, at 3am the Best Buy employees started giving out the reservation tickets for the doorbuster items (guarantees receipt of the item).  I told my friend to wait in the car because it would create suspicion after what I went through to get my place in the line.  With the help of the two Korean kids, I managed to get the reservation tickets for everything my friend and I wanted, including the desktop computer package (which I got the very last ticket for).

After few more hours of waiting in the freezing cold, the doors to Best Buy finally opened at 7am (it's 5am everywhere else but Paramus stores aren't allowed to open until 7am by law).  The mass of people rushed in and I ran straight upstairs for the Samsung monitor I wanted (which I missed out on last year because I grabbed the wrong box).  This time I was the first to get to the Samsung monitors and raised my box in the air in triumph.

When all was said and done, my friend and I walked out of Best Buy at 10am.  I walked away with the following:

- 22" Samsung Widescreen Monitor ($199)

- EMachines Desktop Computer + 17" flat panel + Canon All in One Printer/Scanner/Copier ($199) for my mom

- Tom Tom GPS ($119)

- LinkSys Router ($34)

While I knew what to expect from the Black Friday madness, my friend defeatedly said that was the first and last time he's ever going out for Black Friday.  In utter exhaustion, I agreed.

Next year I'm sleeping in...

Anyone interested in camping out for black friday with me this week?  I did it solo last year at Best Buy at 4am and realized in order to maximize the deals you can get you need a partner in crime.

Last night was one of the longest nights I've had in a long time.  As soon as I get home from work, I get a call from my youngest brother saying that my dad's out drunk and he has the car.  I call my dad to find out where he is so my brother can go pick him up which results in me getting an earful of expletives, sobbing, incoherent yelling, etc.

My brother calls me a little later to let me know that despite being shit-faced, my dad managed to drive home.  While on the phone, I can still hear my dad screaming like a madman at the top of his lungs in the background...loud enough for the next door neighbors to call the cops.  I tell my brother to try and calm down my dad and that I'm on my way there.

When I get there, I find out that only minutes earlier the police arrived and took my dad away to the hospital in an ambulance.  Apparently my dad got into a scuffle with my brother which resulted in my brother striking my dad, causing him to hit his head on the ground.

I go to the hospital to get my dad, and only after telling the admitting nurse that my dad is unemployed and uninsured does she agree to release him to me.  My dad is obviously still drunk as he's going off about how my brother struck him and I'm trying to get him to lower his voice inside the hospital as I escort him out.

The landlord of the house (who lives under my parents and my brother) calls me, telling me that if my dad isn't gone, my mother and brother are going to get evicted which he doesn't want to do because he likes my mother and thinks of us (me and my brothers) as his own.

So it's now 11:30pm on a worknight...and since I can't take my dad back home because of a potentially volatile situation, I drive him back to NJ to my place.  On the ride back, he's still yelling about how my brother struck him and I reply by asking him WHY my brother would strike him (it's because he was uncontrollably drunk and screaming).  To this he responds by yelling at me, daring me to strike him too (mind you, I was still driving).

I stop by a Dunkin Donuts on the way to my place to get my dad some coffee to sober him up a little.  Any attempts at conversation result in more yelling and ranting about my mom and my brother.  I get him to my place and try to get him to go to bed but he refuses until I've listened to what he had to say.  He goes on to tell me how it was a mistake marrying my mother and he blames her for his shortcomings.  He also blames her for my brother striking him.  I finally get him to go to bed around 1AM...only to have him wake up at 3am demanding that I take him home to that he can deal with my brother.  I tell him to go back to sleep but instead get another earful of his angry banter about anything and everything.

Today, I'm a mix of exhaustion, stress, anger, frustration, disappointment and most of all sadness.

Background:

Back when I was in High School growing up, my family went through really bad financial problems.  This resulted in my dad drinking on a regular basis and coming home and beating my mom as well as myself and my brothers.  At the beginning of college, my dad went back to Korea.  Over 14 years passed and only after he got a new visa with the help of my brother did he return to the U.S.  During my dad's absence, it was my mother who busted her ass working 14 hours at a nail salon trying to raise me and my 2 brothers.  Despite not being there for such a long time, I've tried to maintain a civil relationship with my dad by phone.  When he finally came back, I welcomed him as if he never left.  My mother and youngest brother weren't as cordial.  The pain and scars he left were too deep.  My mother and brother minimize any interaction with him, which ends up making him feel lonely and I guess stir-crazy.  The times he goes out to meet with friends, he ends up drinking.  Drinking to the point where he turns into a different person. 

I've tried to be as patient as I can with my dad as my brothers pretty much want nothing to do with him.  I try to talk to my dad when he's sober and try to rationalize and reason with him.  I tell him to forget the past and to focus on the fact that he still has a family.  However, he's so focused on my mom's flaws and mistakes that he fails to recognize his own.  He doesn't understand the consequences of his actions nor does he realize the burden he creates.  As much as I want to forgive my dad and want things to get better, I'm at the point where I don't know what to do anymore.  It's obvious my dad can't be in the same household as my mother and brother but I can't afford to get him a place of his own either.  My dad is old, full of guilt from the past he can't seem to let go, still drinks to relieve his stress, forgetting what kind of person he becomes when he does. 

As the oldest son, I'm torn between my loyalty to my dad and my desire to be free of the emotional and financial burden.  I think about several friends of mine whose fathers have passed away and I tell myself that I should be thankful my dad is still alive but then there's that selfish part of me that wonders...

My heart feels heavy yet so empty.

Can anyone provide some advice/suggestions as to leasing a car?  All the cars I've owned have been purchased with cash and this would be the first time considering a lease.  I've been checking different manufacturer websites for lease deals but they all seem to be similar.  $2k-$3k down and $200-$300 a month in payments. Are the lease terms negotiable despite what's posted on the sites?

Thanks in advance.

Edit: My credit score is 742 if that makes any difference.

Some say that forgiveness is like pulling a nail (i.e., the bad act) from wood. Getting the nail out is the forgiveness, but the hole left behind will always remain.

True forgiveness, however, is like pulling a nail from a glass of water. Ripples may remain for a while, but eventually, the water will show no evidence that the nail was ever there.

What type of forgiver are you?

At the FIFA U-17 World Cup Korea 2007 this past Saturday, it was Peru v. South Korea.

After Carlos Bazalar scored a goal for Peru, he proceeds to celebrate with this...

Way to show some class to the hosting country...

After reading the comments and feedback regarding yesterday's entry, it seems that seeing a friend with someone who doesn't meet your approval is a common occurrence.  As a followup to yesterday, I pose the following questions:

1) What if you've told your friend or they already know, yet they choose to dismiss your warnings? Let them be?

2) Flipside: If your friend told you something negative about your significant other/fiance, how much value would their opinion actually have?  Would it make you treat your friend differently?

One of the most common reasons I've read for people not wanting to intervene is because it will change not only the relationship you have with your friend, but also the person you're warning them about (imagine if you knew both parties involved?). 

Sometimes it's easy for people to say what they would do in a hypothetical situation, but when the situation actually arises, they end up acting differently.  It's much easier to give advice than to take it, isn't it?