August 15, 2007
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Intervene or let it be?
What would you do if a friend was engaged to someone you disliked? What if you knew that person to be different (in a bad way) than how your friend perceives them? (blinded by love or maybe the female is good at putting up a facade)
Would you disclose your knowledge to your friend? Would you intervene and let your feelings be known?
EDIT: What if you knew your input would have absolutely no effect?
Hmm...lot's of interesting comments posted regarding the subject on Justbee's site:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/08/15/open-question-intervene-or-let-it-be/
Comments (22)
depends on how bad the issue is. maybe you should have told your friend about her before he got engaged to her? if it's just a matter of you not liking her for whatever reason, maybe just let it be?
ryc: hahaha... agreed. But when you're walking down the street and see HUMAN feces. You kind of have to stop, whether out of shock or curiosity, and take it all in, haha.
I don't think I would say anything to my friend. It's his life and there's nothing you can really do.
No brainer. You gotta tell your friend. Chances are, he'll do whatever he's going to do anyways, and you might even run the risk of him getting pissed off at you. But you still gotta uphold your duties as a friend and tell him what you know.
isnt it alittle too late to intervene now, shouldnt this been done way before? unless it's a shotgun wedding..lol
hell yeah i'd tell them
keep your mouth shut... everyone changes for the right person. unless this person is doing something at the present moment that your friend needs to know about. otherwise.. whatever was before him/her... leave it there.
i think it also depends on how close you are with your friend... to a close friend 100% yes i would tell them~
oh MAN!!!! how bad was it????????????
tell them.. its better now than later no? but only as an opinion
wat firm are u at? im gonna miss midtown. im at clifford chance. im going to kenyon & kenyon.
TELL THEM TELL THEM TELL THEM!!! and if it didnt change anything, then at least you did your best to warn your friend! You did your best what more can you do?
<3 the Panda!
Say nothing unless your friend asks for your opinion. He may already know you aren't fond of the SO but still loves her anyways.
hey...well, i'd tell him/her for the sole reason of sayin 'i told you so' when shit hits the fan...
i hate situations like that. i think i'd say something, but in a very carefully worded, non-threatening manner. you have to be wary when getting yourself involved in your friend's relationships, even if his fiance/fiancee comes off like a total jerk. no one really knows what goes on between a couple behind closed doors and when it comes down to it, their relationship is a private matter.
telling your friend about his fiance/fiancee's "real" self also puts you at risk of being the asshole. what if your friend's fiance/fiancee changes for the better or your friend is aware of his fiance/fiancee's "real" self but loves him/her anyway? i think it's better to simply respect his decisions and be happy for him. and be there for him if you were right about your suspicions.
as a friend all u can do is tell them... even tho they probably won't listen, at least u'll have a clear conscience.
it doesnt matter if there was no effect. i'd feel like it's my duty as their friend to voice my opinion.
I'd tell. It is my duty as a friend to look out for him.
as a friend, you should know how you feel even tho they may not agree with you. maybe it'll knock some sense in to them eventually.
its funny...i was put in the same situation and others said "mine your own business" let them learn it for themselves.
if i KNEW that it would have no effect, I'd just shut the heck up... but if there was a bit of a chance, depending on your assessment on how your friend would take it, then i'd be trying to convince her not to.
i'd intervene if it was a close friend.. most likely he knows something's not 100%
i think as a true friend, u support them and their decision even if you don't agree with it. what u see/hear may not be the entire story, obviously. think about it... who are u to decide what is right or wrong for someone else? u let them make the decision and if at the end it was the wrong decision, be there for them, not to rub it in their face and say 'i told u so' but to help them through it. and if in the end, it was the right decision, well then, wouldn't u be glad u kept ur mouth shut? haha.
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