January 6, 2005

  • Relationship Regrets

    I'm sure you guys have all heard the sentiment of "not knowing what you had until it's gone" in some form or another.  With each subsequent relationship we get into, I'm sure most of us would like to think that the next person we're with is better than the last.  The more experience you have with dating, the more you figure out what you want I suppose.  There are many reasons why people break up (ie. lost feelings, cheating, etc.) and it's not uncommon for some breakups to be very bitter with one party wishing bad upon the other.  


    However, have you ever looked back at your past relationships in retrospect and thought to yourself, "Man I really let a good one go?  What was I thinking?"


    I'm sure you guys are wondering by now where all this is coming from and before anyone jumps to any further conclusions, this has nothing to do with me.  What sparked this entry was that I happened to bump into an ex-gf of one of my guy friends the other day on the way to work.  While I don't know the personal aspects of how their relationship was back then or the reasons for the breakup, what I do know is that my guy friend is the one that broke things off with the girl. 


    I think anytime a friend's gf/bf hangs out with the group, the group is bound to get to know that person somewhat too.  While this is merely my own opinion, I happened to think this particular girl was very nice and seemed like the good gf type.  Anyways, my guy friend is currently single and has been for some time now.  While he's dated other girls here and there, I couldn't help but wonder if he's ever looked back and thought he could've/should've played his cards differently with certain girls. 


    Sometimes, we're so focused on finding the right person that we often miss the quality we have right in front of us.  This applies to girls as well who break up with guys because they think they can find another guy who is better established financially, educationally, etc. 


    There's an Aesop's fable where this dog is crossing a little bridge over a stream while carrying a bone in its mouth.  He sees his reflection in the water as he's crossing and thinking it's another dog, he barks because he wants that dog's bone too.  In doing so, the bone that he had in his own mouth falls out and drops into the stream. 


    Moral of the story:  Be happy with what you have because sometimes if you get too greedy you end up with nothing.


    Personally, all my ex-gfs happened to be psychos and to quote William Hung, "I tried my best and I have no regrets"


    So what about you guys/girls?  Any regrets over past losses/breakups?

Comments (55)

  • No regrets.  If it was meant-to-be, it would have lasted.  No sense in looking back on it now.

  • nope no regrets what so ever idk i ahve to rethink that i mgiht have regreted something along time ago but now im over it scence i forogt about it lol

  • No regrets.

    I usually only let go after trying over and over and over again.

    Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy.

  • only one regret with past bfs, not because i lost the guy but because i didn't get rid of him sooner. otherwise i have no regrets. however, if i ever lose my current boyfriend i would definitely have regrets because he is the best for me!

    but what's so bad about trying to find your ideal, your best for you? would you rather have someone settle? but then again if you're old and still clinging to ideals, well then you need to get over it and settle....

  • its all about timing.  if your friend were to regret his breaking up with her, that would just mean that he wasnt ready for her back then, but he's ready for her now.  (this is all hypothetical).

    but i dont think you should regret it, because obviously she's not going to be the same person he knew back then either.  through the breakup, she will have changed.  maybe for the better or for worse.  you never know.

    but i dont regret any of my relationships.  even if there were a guy that was incredible, i would still just realize that i learned a lot and need to move on. 

  • omg, i kNOWWWWW!!! what u mean!!! its as bad that i just want to copy and paste this whle entry and see wha others have to say, of course u give u credit though..

  • i have one regret.....but that was along time ago.

  • same as most people - no regrets. learn from your mistakes, realize what you want and don't want in life, and keep looking forward. i'm grateful that each relationship always gets better than the last.

  • it's funny how you were able to add your little tidbit about how your ex's were all psychos.  haha.. gotta love it.

    my only regret for some of my past relationships was that i didn't break up with them sooner.

  • no regrets about the love bit....little regret over losing a sugar daddy.........could hv kept it...for a while...longer......

  • hi dave, happy new year. very well written entry. looking back, i don't have any regrets about past relationships in respect to breaking up, but maybe as how i could've done things differently in that relationship.

  • well put, very well written.. i might have to copy and paste it someday.. haha. i have no regrets about the breakups i've had...

  • hahaha.."i tried my best and i have no regrets"!

  • nope...I think there were good reasons for all my breakups. 

  • i dont have regrets of dating them.  maybe regrets of letting it last as long as it did.

  • i have no regrets. 

    that was a great quote.  brought an awe-inspired tear to my eye.

  • i have some regrets....you just wonder what it would have been like...but can't ponder on the past

  • whether i'm right or wrong in my thinking, i try not to see any of my life choices as regrets...... whether i made the right choice or not.  it's all a learning process.......

  • I agree with you because I strongly believe that you should appreciate what you have and the grass isn't greener on the other side.  Some people are too busy chasing after what they don't have and they don't take care of the things that they do have.  As a result, they end up with nothing. 

    It's an obvious truth but one rarely seen by the masses. 

    Personally, I don't feel that I have any regrets because I try to learn from my mistakes.  I'm still friends with all of my exes because I have amicable breakups.

    Your views are so interesting.

  • awwwww NICE post!!! ^_^

  • no regrets...since I always tried my best in my relationship...i see it as a learning process...and try not to dwell in it...

  • I recently had a very bitter experince. Although I'm still under a lot of emotional distress, I dont wish him any harm. I got a lot of experience out of that relationship and although it didn't have a happy ending I wouldn't take anything back even if I could.

  • hey i like ur site come by my site sometime

  • heyyy

    i agree with uu..although i have no regrets..

    im madly n deeply in love with my bf but honestlyy?

    i liek ur motto..that be happy with what u have cause

    if ur too greedy ull end up with nothing <--- very true

    xoxo!*Trishala*!xoxo

  • no regrets ... but i could have handle things better.  btw, happy new year.

  • happy new yr

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • i think it's all comes down to the idea of the ex that people hold onto.  it's funny how humans function...we don't miss it until it's gone...and ironically we become blindsided to see only the good and look pass the bad memories.  but when it comes down to it...things happen the way they do, and people need to learn how to move on. 

  • my only regret is the time wasted on the majority on my relationships.

  • well this girl i mentioned in my blog will have regrets when she realizes she shoulda called me back.. missin out bigtime

  • i can honestly say i have no regrets cause each time i gave my all... i hate those "what if's..." so  instead of wondering i jus do it & deal with the consequences. it doesn't mean i don't get hurt, but at least i know that on my part i didn't hold back.

  • Relationship Regrets I'm sure you guys have all heard the se...
    Total eProps: 62 | Total Comments: 30
    Posted by PhatBoY113 - 1/6/2005 at 12:40 PM

  • wowow..i've learned alot from you today =]

  • about love =]

  • having regrets in life isn't a good thing. instead of looking back or looking forward, people ought to enjoy the present. i believe that things happen for a reason, and there's a reason why my ex is my ex. we changed after a few years.. and we couldn't change together.

  • so yur teling ppl to "settle".....?.=P

  • i agree with u~ n yea... no regrets~ ^^ happy 2005

  • wow i love your entry...i agree with it...and yes i do have a regret for letting my ex walk away...
    "be happy with what you have" nice qquote there...
    and btw have a happy new year!

  • Nope no regrets.  My last relationship was full of verbal abuse.  I was happy to get out of that one.  Now I'm in a very good long term relationship.  I'm happy with who I have.

  • i wrote something similar to what you are talking about but mine was more geared to finding the one.. leaving someone to find someone better type of situation.. but anyhow NO regrets in my life so far when it comes to relationships.

  • I regret nothing.  But sometimes I wish I had a few more meaningless flings;).

  • amazing story.. and it kinda fits with me right now.. except the guy kinda let me go.. and we weren't dating..

    but everything happens for a reason, and everyone is in our lives for a reason too.. knowin the reason.. is a completely different story...

    i really like ur xanga..

    <333

  • sadly, people never know what they have till its gone.  luckily i have no regrets. 

    i like that aesop fables story.  i remember reading it a long while ago when i was younger :)

  • hi

    random props :)

    John-

  • yeah... taking my ex back the first time he left me... he left me for a fling he had with kristine sa.  I was pissed, but loved him enough to forgive and move on.

  • heii nice site ! ! random props

    <3 sara

  • Well, there's one but I can't totally say it's a regret. This guy is just super, it's just that he lives in Europe now and neither parties is serious enough to compromise and move to where the other party is.

    So, yeah, if only he lives on the next block or sth.

  • I have no regrets.  My husband really was "the best of the bunch."  However, you are so right!  I have single friends now OVER 40 YEARS OLD, and I know they have regrets.  They were so busy holding out "for someone better" that they passed up a life of marriage and children.  One of them recently complained to me, "He's boring."  I replied, "Is living with your mother at your age so exciting?"

  • NO REGRETS ! ! wutever happened in the past made me who i am and where i am now, so definitely thankful for the past. and when i looked back sometimes i do wonder "what was i thinking??" hehe

  • right right. no regrets.
    Aesop was a pretty stupid crackhead. but sometimes he was right on it. just like me!

  • dude ..you know my story

  • no regrets..

    u shoudln't regret the decisions you make..

    you can control your actions and your thoughts..so why do something and regret later on?

  • i haven't had any regrets about past relationships.  i've been in 2 serious relationships (4 years or longer) and i've only had 3 boyfriends... if you coun't highschool - which i'd prefer not to.  but from my relationships, i've learned and grown as a person.  i honestly believe that a relationship is a good one if you come out of it actually learning something.  but don't you hate it when your group of friends start to associate w/each other's gf's/bf's and start becoming friends w/them too and then when a break up happens you don't know what to do b/c you've become quite close w/this other person but to hang out w/both of them will only make somebody feel awkward?  did i make sense?  anyway, rather than be happy with what you've got, like you're lucky to even have someone, everyone should want what they have.  if you don't want it, you're not going to be happy.  i don't know... i'm over analyzing.

  • although i really make a conscious effort not to regret anything, i admit i've had some regrets in this area before.  but then, i think about it again...and realize that i'm thankful for everything/everyone in my past, because it brought me to where i am today - and i'm happy.  i suppose if i was unhappy, i would regret.  does that make sense?

  • happy b day

  • "if you love them set them free,

    if they come back set them on fire." -anon

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