October 29, 2004

  • Phatboy's Theory of Evolution 

    So as I was going home on the subway last night after class, I happened to sit across from this big black woman with two young kids.  Now when I say "big" I mean like Jabba the Hutt BIG.  Each of her thighs were the thickness of tree trunks and her ass was as large as one of those bean bags you sit on. 



    Now I have nothing against fat people nor am I making fun of them right now...but observing the sheer mass of this woman coupled with the fact she had two young children struck me with a revelation...


    I now know why black guys have big dicks!


    It has to do with the evolution involved in procreation and reproduction!  Right now you're probably thinking WTF?! Black guys? Big dicks?? Procreation?!  WTF is this guy talking about??  Let me explain...


    We all know that black women tend to have big bubble butts right?  If you don't believe me, just take a look at the next black woman you see and tell me she doesn't have a proportionately larger ass than your typical female.  With that in mind, I present to you the following diagram:



    As you can see, due to the larger posterior of the black woman, in order for reproduction to be possible, the male member must compensate somehow for the added distance it must travel to reach its goal.  *Enter evolution*  Animals have been known to change their physiology over time to adapt to their surroundings for the purpose of survival. 


    Example:  Giraffes have long necks because they needed to reach the tall trees to feed.   The same concept applies here.  If black men's dicks didn't grow to adapt to the black woman's ass, they wouldn't be able to procreate...putting the survival of the black race in jeopardy.


    Still skeptical about my theory?  Compare the above to the following:



    Asian women tend to be skinny and flat, lacking the curves of non-Asians, especially when compared to black women.  Since the Asian male had no need to adapt like the black man did in order to reproduce, there was no advanced dick growth needed.  The result? Asian males are cursed with BDS (Baby Dick Syndrome).


    There seems to be a stereotype that black men have the largest dicks while Asian men have the smallest.  Granted, stereotypes are merely generalizations and there are always exceptions but for the most part they tend to be true.  Now you know the evolutionary science behind it!


    Now as to why black women have large round asses while Asian women have flat ones...researchers are still investigating that.


    And btw, I'm really BLACK. haha


    ________________________________________________


    Just in case some people happen to be overly sensitive and get offended by this entry, it's a JOKE!  Say it with me...JOOOOOOOKE!  Not ALL Asian guys have BDS. haha


    Have a happy and safe Halloween weekend everyone! 

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