October 22, 2004

  • Dating 101: How to get girls (Part I)


    When it comes to dating, typically it's the guy that has to have some "game" and do the pursuing.  Girls can just sit back and look pretty (or at least try to) and hope that suitors come knocking at their door.  Guys all have their own angle they use when trying to get a girl but they should all have one thing in common.


    The key to getting a girl is to remain unpredictable and mysterious.  Note that I said "getting" and not "keeping" which will be discussed later on. 


    Want to know why nice guys finish last?  It's because they're predictable.  They tend to divulge their entire life story in one sitting and this gives the girl nothing to look forward to as far as getting to know him.  Nice guys wear their hearts on their sleeves and the girl knows she's in control.  She knows the guy will do pretty much whatever she wants him to.  These are qualities that girls may look for when it comes time to settle down but not when you're just dating and meeting people.  Marriage = stability (which comes from predictability)


    Contrast this to the asshole (badboy) whose behavior is unpredictable.  He'll have moments of being nice to the girl and others where he seems like a total dick.  Here, the GUY is in control because he keeps the girl on her toes, constantly guessing what he's all about.  Girls, perhaps either being gluttons for punishment or just plain stupid, will hang around and want to get to know the guy better, despite the lack of substance or depth in the guy.  If you don't have depth, you can at least pretend like you do right?


    As we've all grown older, the typical "badboy" has been phased out with age so this angle is no longer applicable.  In it's place is the now common practice "self pity" tactic.  This is where the guy constantly puts himself down to give off the image of humility to girls.  "I'm a loser, I'm ugly, I have a small dick, etc."  Why in the world would a guy put himself down you ask?  Simple...reverse psychology. 


    By putting themselves down, they're actually fishing for compliments from the girl and reassurance...boosting their egos in the process.  Fact is, the guy really doesn't think that low of himself.  He's actually pretty confident in himself and his self-deprecating comments are merely a ruse.  Remember what I said before about unpredictability?  If a girl sees a guy who for the most part seems very sociable and confident but then sees him belittling himself, this inconsistency creates confusion for the girl.  "This doesn't make sense", the girl says to herself.  "I must get to the bottom of this" (which leads to the girl being more drawn to the guy and wanting to get to know him better) 


    Girls say they like confident guys, but not to the point where they're conceited.  Sometimes there's a fine line between confidence and conceit so how does a guy come off as confident without being conceited? Easy...make fun of yourself.  After all, a conceited guy would never put himself down, would he?  That fine line is looking a lot wider now isn't it?  Practically speaking, it doesn't matter whether you're in fact confident or just conceited, as long as you keep the girl guessing.


    If everything I've said above is true, you may be thinking to yourself that I just blew up the spot for a lot of guys.  However, the most important factor when it comes to getting a girl is EXECUTION.  You can have all the strategies, angles, pickup lines you want, but without execution, it means nothing.  It's like if you were taught how to throw a curveball.  You can know the mechanics of a curveball but it doesn't mean you're going to throw a good one.  Even the batter (the girl) can know you're going to throw a curve ball, but it doesn't mean they're going to be able to hit it.


    Guys: If you choose to use the "self-pity" tactic, make sure you don't over do it.  Girls can get sick and bored of always having to try and boost your ego and actually be turned off....kinda like how us guys get sick of trying to give reassurance to a girl with insecurity problems.


    I'll continue with more later, including my opinion on whether guys and girls can be "friends". I have to get some work done.


    Feel free to confirm or dispute the above as you please.

Comments (39)

  • yea, whatever, that's nice and all.. but how does this help me? hahaha. jp.

  • names are rolling off the top of my head right now....

  • *sniff sniff*... smells like a load of crap to me (^_~)

  • i'm a super nice guy but i still get all the girls. how do you explain that hunh professor?!?!

    oh btw. tell me again where i can buy those super magnum trojans again?

  • *no comment* 5th amendment right not to incriminate myself.

  • hahah you just blew up joji's spot....hahahhah... now he would need a new angle....

  • i agree!

  • You know how you get girls?  Be good looking.  If not, be rich. 

  • interesting coments but here's one from a latin brother. how do we get girls??? 2 things: 1) be funny & 2) dance well ;-P

  • i actually dont like the "self-pity" thing at all.  i think it's a HUGE turn off no matter how little or how much u do it.

    also, i think another difference between confidence and conceit is that confident guys don't need to constantly reaffirm how good looking, rich, etc etc etc to others.  confident + humble....HOT

  • "self-pity" gets old very quickly.  u want a guy with some back bone.

  • you have work to do and you wrote this long ass shit instead? NICE!

  • yeah what was said up there: confidence & humility is what's hot. can't stand self-pitying people.

  • girls like bad boys when they're younger but they eventually settle down with the good boy.

  • self pity is more self depcracating....self pity I think is very unattractive to chicks....but to be self deprecating can show even greater confidence. That you are so confident, you don't have to "cool" all the time...

  • self pity is annoying, thats when the girls say "shutup and stop being a littl ebitch"

  • you're right, girls are drawn to guys of mystery.  i sure am.  it's funny what you said about the self-pity thing though, cuz that just makes the guy sound so much more like a girl (esp when fishing for comments).. and that's not very appealing.

  • you know what i've seen more often than most...people tend to date/go out with the very "types" of people they despise the most.  externally they see the problems they cause but psychologically, the attraction weighs in more. 

  • yeah I think you're right in a general sort of way.  When dating girls want someone who's fun and not too predictable.  But when they settle down then they start looking more for someone who is stable.

  • Good analysis for the most part....however, I've never seen the "self-pity" tactic work.  Then again, I've never seen confident guys resort to it...and why would they?

  • when someone is mysterious, you are curious to find out what that person is all about. then you find out and realize that there was nothing behind that mystery.

  • YEP....i'll post the link...

  • YEP....i'll post the link...

  • ahhaha, it works for some people, but as for me... i've always went for the "good-guy", and married one too!

  • yo thats gay i got a girl right now, well actually three girls and they all like me because im hot and my dick is big

  • good guy never gets the gurl..I thought u knew that manggg

  • Confident guys do self deprecate themselves but I think that it is unintentional. It's a really great ice breaker and lets girls' guards down. It shows that a guy can laugh at himself and be laid back.

  • props

  • eh, from the younger stand point the whole badboy thing is getting kind of old. In this generation the genuine, funny, but yet still mysterious guy works, and that mysteriousness usually is what catches the girl. The confident but humble, it works, like said above.

    ~Amy~

  • damn, in that case i think i'll miss this event...haha! no one wants to go with me anyway.......wah!!!

  • Thank you for having an interesting site.

  • write about the differences in keeping a girl

  • such insight.. where do you find it?

  • How long does it take for you to think these things us? But from my personal experience, yeah, you right!

  • hhahahaha... when you said "better version of the video" i thought you meant better quality, so when i clicked on the link, the quality wasn't that great, so i'm thinking "whatever, it's the same as all the other ones"... but as soon as i heard the benny hill theme, i started cracking up!!  i hate her.

  • NICE.  so true too.

  • you completely blew joji's spot.. HAHA

    ~blah blah, long ball..bla bla one legged hooker.. blah blah blah cheese steak..blah blah give up.. etc"

    Hhaha

  • I have been married ten years, but I met my husband at a party in a house of worship.  He was staring and staring so I finally approached him.  It is not always true that girls just sit back and guys will approach them. 

    I think the media glamourizes the bad boy.  That is why girls' parents have to discuss this with them.  Hey, aren't guys guilty of this as well.  Don't you all want the sexy, pretty girls that may not be so good?  If you want to be judged for who you are on the inside, you must extend that courtesy to the opposite sex. 

  • Everything that u wrote bout is so true. I can so realate to the ABSTINENCE and the COMMUNICATION part in the artical.

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